I hate this picture of myself.
I was 30 pounds overweight and miserable.
No matter how little I ate I could not lose the weight.
But my weight is not what makes me cringe the most when I look at this picture that I SHOULD LOVE of me and my adorable daughter.
What makes me cringe the MOST is not actually my weight but HOW SICK I felt mentally and physically at the time of this picture.
I was exhausted, inflamed, depressed, anxious and in pain.
My entire attention was so focused on being a “Good Mom” and taking care of my daughter that I had stopped taking care of myself.
My diet had dramatically shifted away from the fuel I felt best on to the convenient few foods my daughter would eat. I was eating too much junk food from the Zoo, Legoland and the Aquarium.
Too many birthdays at Peter Piper Pizza and play dates at Chick Filet, Chuck E Cheese
Like a good Mom, I was so busy working hard to keep my daughter entertained and socialized that I was eating too much kid food, not exercising enough and not making my health a priority.
I was eating for fun and not for fuel.
I was disorganized with my fueling as a Mom and in a vicious cycle or stopping for Fast Food as a convenience.
I was paying for it dearly.
I was exhausted, depressed and unhappy.
My anxiety was SO BAD I could not sleep through the night. I would wake up at 3-4am every day in a complete panic.
I could not keep my weight stable even 5 years after having my daughter. If I ate the wrong food, fried foods, too much sodium or too many calories I instantly blew up like a balloon.
I was never more frustrated than at the time of this photo.
Please don’t let that fake smile on my face fool you, I was very unhappy deep on the inside.
Today as a Naturopathic Doctor and Female Hormone Specialist it is important to me to share this uncomfortable memory so I can help other Mom’s suffering from the same problems. We try to hard as Mom’s to look perfect all the time.
What actually bothers me the MOST about this picture?
My fat face. My face was super swollen. You can see the swelling and inflammation even in my face! My hands were really swollen and my arthritis was terrible.
I was sick.
My hormones were out of balance, my mood was horrible.
I was not healthy and I did not feel good.
While I was busy making a happy life for my child I was a miserable Mom on the inside.